Shit You Say to Telemarketer

From time to time I get these calls from telemarketers. I'm sure everyone gets that. Mostly from either Citibank or some PRC scammers calling all the way from China.

Most people either say no or hang up the phone.

I propose you do these the next time you get these calls. After all if she's going to waste my time, I'm going to fuck with her a little bit. So to all the call centre morons like Citibank, fuck you.

Shit you say to telemarketer:

It doesn't matter what the caller says in any language, just follow the script. I guarantee you your phone number will be removed from their list and you'll never get a call from them again. EVER.

Telemarketer: "May I speak to so-and-so?"

Me/You: "Yes?"

Telemarketer: "Blah, blah, blah, yada, yada, yada..."

Me/You: "Are you wearing any underwear?" (Doesn't matter if the caller is of the opposite sex or not.)

Telemarketer: "Blah, blah, blah, yada, yada, yada..."

Me/You: "What color is it?"

Telemarketer: "Blah, blah, blah, yada, yada, yada..."

Me/You: "Can you take it off?"

Telemarketer: "Blah, blah, blah, yada, yada, yada..."

Me/You: "Can you touch your *&%$ for me?"

Telemarketer: "Blah, blah, blah, yada, yada, yada..."

Me/You: "How does it feel?"

Telemarketer: "Blah, blah, blah, yada, yada, yada..."

Me/You: "I feel like shit is coming out of my ass, do you mind continue talking to me while I'm taking a dump?"

Telemarketer: "Blah, blah, blah, yada, yada, yada..."

Me/You: "Wait don't hang up, we were just getting to know each other!!!"

Telemarketer: "Blah, blah, blah, yada, yada, yada..."

Me/You: "When are you going to call me again?"

Telemarketer: *toooooooooo* *Dead tone*