Tuesday, January 17, 2012

Peach Garden Fried Carrot Cake

In life sometimes you must make assumptions when arriving at a decision.

I love fried carrot cake a.k.a chye tow kuay.

I read in the news that your CABINET MINISTER, Acting Community Development, Youth and Sports Minister , Major General (NS) Chan Chun Sing, who said:

“(For example,) you go to Peach Garden, you eat the $10 XO Sauce chye tow kuay (fried carrot cake), you can be quite happy right? Because you are satisfied with the service and so on. On the other hand, you can go to a hawker centre, even if they charge you $1.50, you might not want to eat it if the quality is not good.”

I have some FACTS so I have to make assumptions about the rest:

FACT: He is an [acting] cabinet minister. Nay, a Singapore cabinet minister.

FACT: He's paid around a million dollars a year [plus minus S$10.00].

Assumption: He is rich therefore he must eat at really expensive and good restaurants all the time. Then, it is reasonable to think that he would have refined taste and not like some heartland fucker.

Assumption: He is a cabinet minister, so he must be telling the truth and has actually tried that stupid carrot cake before.

The problem is should I trust him?

What if I spend S$10 and the carrot cake taste like shit???

I kept thinking, this is a SINGAPORE cabinet minister wor.... how can I be wrong following him?

On second thoughts, I think I just eat my chye tow kuay when I go back to my home town in Malaysia during CNY. Singapore food taste like shit anyways.

Sorry, you guys are stupid crazy to pay S$10.00. As for how much you should pay your minister, I don't know la, not my country.

Anyway, this is the real thing:

Tell your minister, got money also not waste like that mah.

Monday, January 16, 2012

Alien? Why?

I meant to blog about this sometime ago but was too busy.

I was driving the other day and glanced at the newspaper that was lying on the passenger seat. And this was on the newspaper...

What kind of fucking name is "Alien Huang"??? Did your mother not like you? I bet not. I bet he chose this name on his own.

Fucking retard. He thought with a name like this:

people would find him interesting.

No!!! People will think you are a fucking idiot!!! Cocksucker.

I'm not ignorant ok? I know this guy is from Taiwan. But it is the same with these 講華語 type, you can find them here and in Malaysia.

All they know is fucking 講華語 but they also want people to think that they are hip. So they come up with shitty names like these for themselves.

Of course, if you end up becoming a fucking huge pop star like this guy, people might just accept it as eccentricity:

By the way, I happened to know of two guys here in Singapore, both fucking 講華語 type, who call themselves "SKY". I mean you gotta be fucking kidding me, right?

For the record, I refuse to be friends with people who are that fucking retarded to call themselves that kind of name.

And they are both fucking ugly and behave like slimballs all the time. Which means there are maybe reasons why they chose that kind of names [attempt to compensate for being such a fucking moron, I'd say].

If I'm their parent, I fucking feed them rat poison. Fucking Sia Suay.

Here's an idea, if you're going to look like a fucking retard, you might as well go all the way, BE A MAN.


Wednesday, January 11, 2012

Referee Kayu? You Fucking Sore Loser, yes or not?

I was walking pass a mini market just now and tabloid on the newsstand scream

"REFEREE KAYU"... meaning to say last night fucking Singapore football team shouldn't have lost to Kelantan.

I mean come on...

You are the fucking riches country in Southeast Asia, you lost to a team from the POOREST STATE in Malaysia.

What fucking excuse have you got??? Blame the referee? Did the field in the stadium PONDED??? Is that the other reason you lost??

You fucking cocksuckers should all go and kill yourselves in shame.

You are the country in SEA that spends the MOST money gambling at football. You also pay the most to fucking Singtel so that you can watch EPL.

Watch so much for fuck ah?

I myself have absolutely no interest in football at all.

But to know a humble team from my hood came to YOUR COUNTRY and fucking beat you at a game you're soooo passionate TALKING ABOUT AND GAMBLING ON....

is so so sweet.


[P.S. The COCKSUCKERS subsequently lost 0-1 to Trengganu, the 2ND POOREST STATE IN MALAYSIA!!! SIA SUAY LAO PEH]

Monday, January 9, 2012

Anwar Acquitted! Next Stop Putrajaya.

Anwar is acquitted.

It would have been crazy for UMNO to send him to jail.

So what if he likes to butt-fuck young men? Anyway, I don't think he was guilty in this particular case. Even if he did, it was selective prosecution on the part of AG.

Come on, you know how many gays are there in KL alone? Which one of them had been charged, let alone jailed, for butt-fucking?

Anyway, the point is not about Anwar being in jail or not, I don't think it changes my vote in the next election even a single bit.

Listen UMNO, and listen carefully.

If you take the Perkasa Nazi, Ibrahim Ali, out to the court yard, and put a bullet into his head, I will vote for you.


Sunday, January 8, 2012

Getting A Woody

My wife insisted that I write something about this.

You see, if you look at the bottom of my blog post, you can register your reaction to my post by clicking on anyone of the choices. One of them is "getting a woody".

Somehow I get the sense that maybe people don't quite know what is it. Because I get people clicking on that button all the time.

So for you cocksuckers who never leave your house and masturbate with your Indonesian maid's underwear, getting a woody does NOT mean:


nor this:

nor this:

It means THIS:


in your case, it is most likely be ONLY LIKE THIS!

So go ahead, make my day:

Get a woody.

Friday, January 6, 2012

Grace Fu

I feel like I should say something about Grace Fu.

But I think I won't because ICA may be reading my blog and IT IS POSSIBLE that they will find my blog post to be interfering with your domestic politics.

You see Grace, self-restraint is not that difficult, is it?

Good night.