Friday, December 30, 2011

PR Lesson on Crisis Management (A Good Lawyer Doesn't Hurt Either)

THIS IS WRONG!!! THE TAIWAN BITCH SHOULD GO TO JAIL!!

SMRT please take note. THIS is how you run your PR!!!

I've learnt many lessons, says Quan
Quan, a MediaCorp artiste, was especially emotional when talking about her daughter at a press conference. -myp 
Sarah Chang

Fri, Dec 30, 2011
my paper




When someone spits at you, just endure it. [SHE WAS THE AGGRESSOR, NOT VICTIM!!! See how good PR can fucking twist the facts? SMRT, please read this!!!]

That was what Taiwan-born Quan Yifeng repeatedly told herself amid the storm of negative publicity that followed her altercation with a ComfortDelGro taxi driver in June last year.

"Even in times of difficulties, I have to always remember my child, because I need to take care of her," she said yesterday, adding that she had to endure for the sake of her 12-year-old daughter.

In the incident, Quan, 37, ripped out the taxi's fare meter and spilt water on the receipt printer, causing about $70 in damage.

She was charged with two counts of mischief and one count of using criminal force.

In court yesterday, she was sentenced to 15 months' probation after pleading guilty last month to one charge of mischief. The other two charges were taken into consideration.

Quan, a MediaCorp artiste, was especially emotional when talking about her daughter at a press conference after the court hearing.

Her daughter faced a lot of pressure in school because of the dispute and did not do as well as expected in this year's Primary School Leaving Examination, Quan told reporters.

"I could have dealt with the issue better. But as a single mother, my instinct was to fend for my child, so much so that I over-reacted to the verbal provo-cation," she said.

Quan apologised for her actions and sought forgiveness from the public.

She said she had learnt "many lessons" from the incident and its aftermath.

She also said she felt "very guilty" for putting her daughter, who had to undergo eight months of counselling, through the nightmare. [WHAT ABOUT THE TAXI DRIVER???]

In 2007, Quan also suffered severe clinical depression, anxiety and sleeping problems. She had been on medication for these conditions up till the time of the offence. [BULLSHIT!! And is she fucking saying that after the rampage in the taxi, her depression has been cured???]

Wednesday, December 28, 2011

"Ponding" is not the same as Fondling.

Hum Yee would like to draw your attention on the two nice round things in the picture below:


They are called breasts or tits.

They are soft and tender which are the next best things to Bak Kut Teh.

The best way to enjoy them is to fondle or caress them. So the way you describe it would be to say: "I'm fondling her tits and I'm getting a woody." [To the cocksucker who clicked on "getting a woody [erection]" on my every blog post, this is the meaning of getting a woody]

Now.....

Read the article below:


No floods in Orchard Rd, just 'ponding': PUB






Singapore - As heavy rain pelted down on Orchard Road yesterday, Liat Towers activated its S$200,000 flood barrier system. As an added measure, plastic barriers were also distributed. But they proved no match for the floodwaters, as levels reached knee height and poured into the basement-level shops - reminiscent of the scene in June last year when floodwaters last hit the building. Yesterday, some customers even had to form a chain of chairs to get out from one of the affected stores.

Prolonged heavy rain which fell over a three-hour period over the southern and central parts of Singapore resulted in flash floods at numerous areas. Cuscaden Road, Newton Circus, Kampong Java, Lincoln Road, Wee Nam Road, Cambridge Road, the junction of Moulmein and Thomson roads in front of United Square, and the junction of Bukit Timah Road and Sixth Avenue were affected.

Flood waters reached a height of 30cm in some areas and generally subsided within an hour, except at Cambridge Road, Newton Circus and the Moulmein-Thomson junction in front of United Square, where waters subsided by 6pm, said national water agency PUB. "The affected areas are mainly low-lying areas," it added.

While the total recorded rainfall at Orchard Road was 152.8mm, PUB said "there was no flooding at Orchard Road". "However, water ponded at the open area of Liat Towers, the underpass between Lucky Plaza and Ngee Ann City, and the basement of Lucky Plaza due to the sustained heavy downpour," it added.

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Hum Yee would like to know: WHAT THE FUCK IS "PONDING"???

Where do I find this word in the dictionary???

My wife always brags about her fucking country being a first world country. And mine, Malaysia, by comparison is a third world country. And mind you, she doesn't even know the definition of either of those terminologies. Don't be stupid ok?

So, is this First World English? Which fucking school did these cocksuckers at PUB go to?


[P.S @ 29/12/2011, my wife from first world country just informed me that there is indeed such a word as "ponding". Motherfucker. That means those cocksuckers from PUB did pass their primary school exams. Damn.]

Tuesday, December 20, 2011

A picture = 1,000 words?

SMRT CEO, Ms. Saw.

Crouching Train Hidden Claws

There seems to be a rush to calm the nerves of commuters of MRT the last couple of days.

Apparently part of the problems was "claws on the third rail" [whatever that is, just look at the picture] were failing off the track.

It wasn't ONE single claw.



It was TWENTY ONE CLAWS. Didn't they start worrying about the train when the FIFTH claws was missing? Why wait until 21 claws???

Anyway, the geniuses at SMRT decided to put the claws back. But to MAKE SURE they don't fall off again, they got to secure it to the bracket.

You wonder how they do that. Welding maybe?

No! They tied it with cable tie. Even I think that's fucking nuts!!!

Watch the video below, around 40 seconds into it. The stupid journalist actually can keep a straight face while explaining the damn thing. That must have taken her a lot of fucking practice at drama school.

video

Singapore's Education System - EPIC FAIL

These are three videos that I found on YouTube. I was laughing so hard my nuts actually hurt.

Check them out...

1) This is Aaron Tan. He's 18. Apparently some boy who is 14, yes four years younger, STOLE HIS GIRLFRIEND!!! And Aaron is pissed...

video


2) And this is THE FAMOUS STEVEN LIM from Singapore, who tries very hard to convince everyone that Singaporeans are not racists and welcome ALL foreigners. Apparently no FT actually stole his job so he is very happy.

video


3) Mr.Brown says "Limpeh Tuck Yew!!!" [hilarious]

video


Monday, December 19, 2011

You Don'ch Know How to Siam!!!!

Hum Yee is of the opinion that Singaporeans when facing a crisis do not know how to "Siam", as in "dodging the bullet or passing the buck".

The excuses are very weak and very easily poo-poo'd by people. Watch the video and you will see what I mean. We are not stupid you know? So for example, the CEO said the staff worked throughout the night for 3 nights [pay attention on her expression when she said that].... I say so what?

Then the MSM went and interview some cocksucker who says the CEO should not resign. And they chose this cocksucker, typical Sinkie fuck-face, to say so. Is THAT representative of the Singaporean public? Do you think that little boy with small dick who can't speak properly is the authoritative voice to forgive the CEO? What kind of journalism is that?

So, rather than very poorly trying to make excuses, WHY don't you guys just totally deny responsibility? Then you wouldn't have to make excuses for the fuck-up, would you?


You guys should learn from Malaysia.

If this happens in Malaysia, the Minister will come out and say that is an act of GOD and that will be the end of story. Hahahaha. Malaysia Boleh. Singapura Tak Boleh.

P.S. For you cocksuckers who complain that she's from Malaysia/mudland (i.e. implying this wouldn't have happened if a Singaporean is in charged... yadda yadda yadda), Hum Yee says, fuck you; she's yours now. Who ask you to give her passport??? Huh? Cocksuckers.

Friday, December 16, 2011

MRT Breakdown!!!! But CEO busy playing mahjong??

This is the CEO of SMRT. She is from Penang, so same country la. [However she is now a Singaporean so that means she is fucking yours, not ours. So stop blaming Malaysia for her fucking mistakes. Who ask you to give her passport?] Nevertheless, I think she should just resign la. What is this "I will resign if it is necessary" bullshit?


This is what happened last night:




WHERE WAS SHE "PRACTICING THE ART OF MOVING PEOPLE" LAST NIGHT???

That's what Hum Yee wants to know. [The mahjong part is not true, I'm just guessing only since she's so fucking ugly]

Wednesday, December 7, 2011

Singapore Taxi is more fucked-up than NYC Cab

Just yesterday, the fucking blood-sucking Singapore Taxi company "changed the fare structure". See my earlier post: Comfort My Ass

Of course there are a lot of screaming and yelling, or khao peh khao boo going on.

What surprises me is that people actually accept a peak hour surcharge based on a percentage of the fare, which is 25% for the new structure. This means if your base fare is $20, you pay EXTRA $5 surcharge.

That I think is outrageous.

By comparison, New York which is notorious for expensive cab fare has reasonable surcharges. You know why? Because it is REGULATED!! Let's see below their cab fare structure:

"The meter is required to be engaged or "hired" when a taxicab is occupied by anyone in addition to the driver

Standard City Rate (Rate Code 1)
$2.50 upon entry
$0.40 for each additional unit

The unit fare is:
one-fifth of a mile, when the taxicab is traveling at 6 miles an hour or more; or
60 seconds when not in motion or traveling at less than 12 miles per hour.
The taximeter shall combine fractional measures of distance and time in accruing a unit of fare. Any combination of distance or time shall be computed by the taximeter in accordance with the National Institute of Standards and Technology Handbook 44.
The fare shall include pre-assessment of the unit currently being accrued; the amount due may therefore include a full unit charge for a final, fractional unit.
Night surcharge of $.50 after 8:00 PM & before 6:00 AM
Peak hour Weekday Surcharge of $1.00 Monday - Friday after 4:00 PM & before 8:00 PM
New York State Tax Surcharge of $.50 per ride."

And this is all REGULATED by NYC Taxi and Limousine Commission (TLC).

WHY ISN'T THERE A SIMILAR COMMISSION HERE IN SINGAPORE???

THAT'S WHAT HUM YEE WANTS TO KNOW.

Yeah, you can say, why take a cab? Buy a car and drive yourself la.

Nabeh, Hum Yee would like to tell you that he drives a car that is priced 5 times more expensive than a similar car in US.

So either way they fuck you up the ass. COCKSUCKERS!

Then you say, take public transport la!

You know why I don't? Because I don't want end up sitting beside you, you stinko fucker!

Tuesday, December 6, 2011

Now THIS you cannot blame it on FT.

I've been living in this country for the last 5 years.

Yes, I'm what they called FT, "Foreign Talent", a foreigner living and working in Singapore. Just like millions of people in the human history who move from one location to another, I was born in one place and now live in another.

Nothing very interesting or exceptional, right? Wrong! From a Uniquely Fucking Singaporean perspective, I am less of a human being than them locals.

The FT is supposed to come here and, get this, 'DO THE JOB THAT WE DON'T WANT TO DO." This means work such as cleaning the toilet, or digging the road or worse, get your ass fucked by some really ugly gay ah neh Singaporean for $50.00!!!!

It's like, "we are special, all these things are beneath us."

But "we got fucking Singapore Dollars, it's real big deal." "All you fucking FTs coming here to work are less than human and must get down on your fucking knees and pray to our money."

What they do not fucking tell you is that FT provide a service which brings the business cost down and as a result keep INFLATION DOWN.  That allows them to have their fucking disposable income to roam the shopping complex and stuff their fucking face with low quality sushi every weekend.

But no, every fucking thing and every fucking problem they have, they blame it on FT like me. Eh, I fucking pay my GST just like you do, ok?

In that light, I was glad to see the piece of news below. For non-Singaporean readers of this blog, taxis can ONLY be operated by Singaporean citizens.

Taxi fare is going up!!!!! I like to see how you morons are going to blame THIS on FTs.

And I laugh my ass off when I read one of the locals complaining:

"How does this restructuring address the problem of lazy cab drivers camping in corners like behind ORQ waiting for people to call for a cab, and then appearing out of nowhere to collect the extra fees? As many an expat has said before while waiting for a taxi in the queue: Singaporean cabbies are really spoiled! And many refuse to pick up passengers even though it's not shift change hour; this happens even at taxi stands in the CBD area with long queues. They're just waiting for someone to pick up the phone to dial for a cab because there's extra money! As if reducing booking fees by 20 cents will make a difference."

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ComfortDelGro revises taxi fare structure from Monday
SINGAPORE - ComfortDelGro, the largest taxi operator here, said today it would revise its taxi fare structure from 6am, next Monday.

Flag down fares will also go up by 20 cents across its ComfortDelGro's fleet of 15,600 cabs here, while distance fares will be increased by 2 cents. Advance booking fees will also be increased by $8 to encourage more drivers to accept such bookings. The S$3 city area surcharge, which is currently in effect between 5pm and midnight from Monday to Saturday, will be extended to included Sundays and Public Holidays as well.

Peak period surcharge, meanwhile, will be reduced from the current 35 per cent to 25 per cent of the metered fare. It will, however, be extended to Sundays and Public Holidays.

Booking fees will also come down from the current S$3.50 during peak periods and S$2.50 at all other times, to S$3.30 during peak periods and S$2.30 at all other times.

The last taxi fare revision exercise was conducted in December 2007, and ComfortDelgro says it is revising its taxi fare structure "to better match supply with the ever-growing demand for taxi services in Singapore". ComfortDelGro operates some 15,600 taxis of the 26,700 taxis on the roads here.